Tuesday, March 28, 2006

SO, day before yesterday was Amas birthday,yesterday was like Ashima and Japnas birthdays..and today is Aditis.so i, being such a nice nice person, am going to specially, wish them a WONDERFUL year, filled with everything that they could ever wish for! rawk on gurls!ahh..happiness.

Now, on to the sadness.my seat has been changed..i mean, i am like still at the back and everything, but now, i dont have the privilege of sitting at the corner..all by my own..well i wasnt technically all by my own, but still, you know, me and window...peace.sanity?BUT NOW, i am like at the middle rown thing...talk about depressing..but otherwise, no objections..i guess..i have like, LiQi and Hannah in the same row-thing as me..so yah..life could have been sadder...anyway...i hate this life..i hate everything,it sux..theres so much homework, so many test thingies..9and results) its freaking me. but i am not morbid..i just speak my mind.


now, we shall recap on LAST SUNDAY.
so that was the day ashi held her party thing...so me,et,falee,mansi,miza,derek,stan and roger(and ashima..duh) were there...oh you know what, i shall continue this thing later...i need to finish my work stuff...BYE! i like totally LOVE you! like YAH!

A Beautiful Disaster at Tuesday, March 28, 2006

Wednesday, March 22, 2006

i shall tell you everything in chronological order. firstly, had M.A.D which was a different experience.its amusing how many different kinds of stuff you can get out of a boring subject, name mathematics. Anyway..my group(siti, lena, hamizah & me...duh...) we did this thing, answer questions and then if u get it right, u squirt us...or we squirt u.by squirt, i refer to shooting water at ones face with the help of a gadget called a water gun.twas fun. then we voted for the ones to present on friday..and i voted for our group!! lol..ego..i also voted for 3 other groups..dunno if we even were allowed to vote that many times..hehe. and then got really very wet..was kinda pissed at myself for thinking of using water guns. niwae..after that we did our photohunt it as DAMN FUN haha. its amazing i mean like people dont even write their advertisements properly but we are all human...then again..im a different kind of human... i make too many mistakes..not the point. but like in just one shopping mall we found so many errors i was amused. that place was bukit panjang mall by the way..then we went to westmall cuz jiya said there was this funny mistake at the carpark there but apparently they had taken it down so we looked for others..and found a rather funny one. then went to choa chu kang..oh by then we had finished finding everythingand we had like A LOT of time left lah! how efficient lol ego..at choa chu kang, we discussed our haiku things...reflections..then!! WE TOOK NEOPRINTS! lol i was very excited for sume reason..it was fun..then jiya left cuz she had track, followed by xin ping and ama cuz they had to go home lah. so since me and hanis and japna were left, we decided to eat something. but hanis broke liao, so we shared my bubbletea haha..japna ate mcflurry and then after eating, we all went home! lol...what memories are made of haha. today..was a rather pleasant day..to round it up...i didnt feel all that depressed..it feels good to be happy.ttyl.bye.

A Beautiful Disaster at Wednesday, March 22, 2006

Tuesday, March 21, 2006

Walking home from school, he thought about his younger brother, who died in a car accident last month, along with his mother.
He didn’t miss his mother very much. She’d been a drug addict and never paid attention to her two sons. She even pretended to ignore the scars on her older sons arms.
His father however was perfectly fine with both his son and wife dead, as long as he still had one of his sons to beat when he was drunk or angry it didn’t matter.
When he got home from school his father was home drunk, sitting on the couch watching TV as usual.
He went downstairs to his room in the basement and dropped his bag on the floor.
He walked over to his CD player and turned it on. He lay on his back on the bed, staring at the ceiling.
He glanced over at his clock. 3:27 am. Staring at the clock he wondered, could I have fallen asleep? Or did the clock freeze or something?
Sitting up, he listened to see if he could hear his fathers TV. This wouldn’t really matter though, since his father often fell asleep in front of the damn TV.
The CD player was still going though, so he got up and turned it off, then walked upstairs into the living room.
There was blood on the floor, and behind the couch lay his now dead father.
His father’s throat had been cut and there was blood everywhere on him.
Kneeling down, he put his hand on his father’s still warm, bloody chest.
He felt no grief or sadness over the death if his father, although he did feel curious as to who killed him.
A cold fear gripped him suddenly and he felt a rope tighten around his throat.
He tried to kick at whoever was choking him, but all he struck was empty air.
As he struggled to pull the rope away from his throat, images appeared in his head; his best friend lay dead on the floor of his bedroom, knife in hand, wrist cut open. Another of his friends popped into his mind; he had a gun in his cold dead fingers and a bullet had gone through his head. A picture of his girlfriend with her eyes rolled back into her head, her lying on her back, skin pale, and lifeless. There looked like there was no explanation to her death.
The images still clear in his mind, he made one last attempt to fight his killer, a deep hatred and anger burning inside him. Slowly all of the life and energy disappeared from him.
Just as he thought he wouldn’t be able to hold his breath any longer, he was shoved down to the ground. Clutching at his throat, he gasped for breath, trying to look around and see who had been choking him, but saw no one.
A sudden dread filled his heart, and he knew with certainty that the images he’d seen of his friends were true. So why hadn’t it killed me? He wondered. He wanted to scream in rage, but still hadn’t regained enough breath in his lungs.
He woke up and found himself lying on his bed. Standing up, he glanced at his trembling hands and realized his father’s blood still covered them.
He felt a burning pain in his chest. Everyone he’d ever cared about and who ever cared even the slightest about him besides his brother. Their deaths had been made to look like suicide, but he knew better. None of them had been suicidal and never cut themselves like he did.
Suddenly he sat up in bed in a cold sweat, breathing hard. Looking at the clock he saw it said 12:01 am. He stared at his hands to see if there was still his father’s blood on them. There was none. Relief flooded into him as he realized it had all been a dream, and he would have another chance to make things right with his friends now that he realized how much he actually cared for and needed them.
He got out of bed and walked over to the mirror on his wall. He stared fixedly at his throat, which had fresh rope burns that were still raw and soar. Suddenly he began to wonder just how much of it had been a dream…

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i was bored...

A Beautiful Disaster at Tuesday, March 21, 2006

Friday, March 17, 2006

..*..*So yesterday was okok...i mean we had the cpr course n first aid thing and it was rather fun...well first they showed us the theory stuff like the abcs and stuff. and then we got to have a break then after that we did the cpr thing! at first it was fun...the instructer showed us how to do the thing...and so we started then all of a sudden me and mizah were taken to another station cuz our station supposedly had too many people. then things took a boring turn. i mean i wasnt very enjoyable...and too add on to the rubbishness..i totally screwed it up. but gahhhh. then we had that test thing...and the best part was that i did pretty well...i mean i think i did...it was so much better than the practice bit..lol it was fun! oh and we also learnt the choking thing..how to save sum1 while they are choking. like what chest thrust or something lol...it was very...uh....ticklish? and rather ahh nevermind..lol...then lunch..i had lunch with mizah, lena, siti, ain, and next to us sat a girl called min(oh deanna was there too..but we like didnt talk much...not the point..oh btw...i think min is rather nice) and ya..min says that she sees me in 190 every day...oh..i am blind..i swear i have never seen her before...i think its time i get myself glasses. anyway...after that i talked to her like before our bandaging practical thing.she really nice..i like i like..lol. yah back to lunch..so after eating me and siti kinda like ran away from the rest and she went smsing...welli was smsing to..but what the hell. we talked crap..then met mizah and we saw this squirrel both od then saw it and i like had no clue where it was..i stared up the tree and kept staring it wasnt there..in the end they told me it was in front of me..and it was actually then met hanis...we embraced lol..then talked chit chat bla bla blu blu blo blo then we went back..and realised we were early so we took pictures of each other in bandages! then we started the thing again..as lunch time was over oh bandaging! it was weird..me and hamizah bandaged each other we were also shown the cut n stuff...was fun lol..then test..i thought i had screwed up badly but apparently i hadnt lol...then after another practical test, we could go home..the best part was that since me and hamizah were like the first few, we got to leave early! haha..then we took 190 back..oh we went to lot1 too!! haha it was fun...the whole day was memorable..then after that i had to go for a rehearsal cuz im gonna be the emcee for a function at the KK hospital weird i know..but that was kool...i met my friends tazkiah we had fun haha..we didnt actually do the rehearsing part we did everything else! haha anyway gtg now! tata ...(at last..i feel less depressed..it really feels like a change but it wont last i know it.)

A Beautiful Disaster at Friday, March 17, 2006

bla bla testing...my last entry wasnt published i feel so sad!

A Beautiful Disaster at Friday, March 17, 2006

Monday, March 13, 2006

You complain that i am morbid. That i am too depressed, that i should open up.I say that i am not morbid. I am not depressed. I am just misunderstood. You think that i don't appreciate life. That i don't treasure what i have. But i do. Its just that at this point in my life, nothing seems to go right. But tomorrow all that may change.

ok..so what was that all about.. i am not sure..i just fet like saying that. yes i knoe i am wierd, i am special, i am me! lol i am super uber bored. i have spent more than half of the day sitting in front of the computer n im well..bored..oh speaking of boredom..go check out my links page...the donot click box...its cute..lol praising myself..a lot ofcredits to lim wei ying..Rock on girl! niwae...gtg enjoy.

A Beautiful Disaster at Monday, March 13, 2006

history of all the blogs that i have ever had in my life. up to date, i have had 3.the first whichs address i had forgotten. the secondbeing on msn space and the third,,this. enjoy reading i will try to update this as often as i can..leave your comments...tag me...anyway..gtg bye..oh by the way the address of my other blog is http://spaces.msn.com/endofyourlife/ =)

A Beautiful Disaster at Monday, March 13, 2006