Saturday, August 12, 2006
an overwhelming emotional effect-I suppose there comes a time in everyone's life when they must stop for a moment and consider just exactly how much their life sucks. I, for instance, have reached that point in my life approximately ten times a day for the past, about a year, well not everyday, but close.
Ofcourse there is always the guilt and self-flagellation that follow. I know at least rationally, that the average ethiopian child or iraqi(orhoweveryouspellit) refugee has it far worse than i do. I am not starving. I have access to all the amenities of modern society. I do, ofcourse, as anyone's granmother would remind me, have my health. At least, my physical health(i'm not sure about mental health, half the world seems to think that i am bonkers). But still compared to an average teenager, my age, I'd still have to say that I'm way up in the ninety-ninth percentile on life's suck-o-meter.I know self-pity is the devil, and I ought to be constantly searching for the silver ining, blablabla, but i'm pretty sure that my silver lining has long since tarnished to a vicious shade of black. There's just been way too much thought about those little masochistic catchphrases in my brain and in my life for a silver lining. Way too much thoughts of death, way too much loss, and way too much time alone. I've spent close to a fourth of my life alone, that's a sad fact.
story of my life.
rlb these sign-like things are highly amusing....
A Beautiful Disaster at Saturday, August 12, 2006