You Wouldn't Survive My Alter Ego

Wednesday, January 31, 2007

I was supposed to be happy, but now i'm emoing with Nick Lachey's lame song.it scares me that it describes exactly how i feel. i hate you. i really do. and maybe if i keep saying it, one day i'll even believe it.

An empty room can be so deafening,
The silence makes you wanna scream,
It drives you crazy.
I chased away the shadows of your name,
And burned the picture in a frame,
But it couldn't save me.

And how could we quit something we never even tried,
Well you still can't tell me why.

We built it up,
To watch it fall.
Like we meant nothing at all.
I gave and gave the best of me,
But couldn't give you what you need.
You walked away,
You stole my life,
Just to find what your looking for.
But no matter how I try,
I can't hate you anymore.

Sometimes you hold so tight,
It slips right through your hands.
Will I ever understand?

Your not the person that you used to be,
The one I want who wanted me,
And that's a shame but,
There's only so many tears that you can cry.
Before it drains the light right from your eyes,
And I can't go on that way.
And so I'm letting go of everything we were,
It doesn't mean it doesn't hurt.

i need to talk to you. but my life is so pathetic, i can't find the time. and its killing me. i must be the loserestest person ever to exist. gosh.

<3 you're my new emokid
(because i've finally replaced ______)

A Beautiful Disaster at Wednesday, January 31, 2007

Saturday, January 27, 2007

Ed left yesterday, we went to drop him off. Never thought i would, but now i feel empty inside. I near cried at the airport(i cried later, shut up.) Its so sad. we were friends for so long. Everyone i seem to like eventually leaves. i'm cursed anyway, pictures later. oh yes and ed, if/when you see this, i love you so much. You are the koolest(kat) friend ever.

I know we'll be more than just a memory <3

had om today. i felt like shit i swear, all in all it wasn't too bad. saw a few people that i haven't seen in a long time. and sam came over. caught up on a lot. missed you a lot.

♥ together we're just so complete.

A Beautiful Disaster at Saturday, January 27, 2007

Monday, January 22, 2007

I wish I could just make you turn around,

turn around and see me cry
There's so much I need to say to you,

so many reasons why

You're the only one who really knew me at all

No, i don't feel much better now either. I still miss you. And i can't seem to set my mind on anything else.But no, i'm happy. So happy I could kill myself, its so unreal. Oh the irony. I'm going crazy. I've been thinking lately, i haven't made any new friends this year, except my classmates. Who are really nice people and i'm an shithole to be such pain to them and yet they are so nice to me. Gosh i hate you. everyone seems to be having fun and all, and i'm stuck here waiting for you. I need to get a life. really. i'm so freaking stupid. honestly what will become of me. anyway, i like kristy. she is very nice. and i like karen a lot too. and i'd die without sam or e.t. and josh, thank you (:

KRISTY!

FMB(fried mars bars!) and KAREN!

A Beautiful Disaster at Monday, January 22, 2007

Tuesday, January 16, 2007

I feel shitty and pissed. and veryvery emo. my life is like one big mistake. everything is wrong, and i don't even feel like starting to explain.

well, a few things i'd like you to know.
1. I hate myself for missing you like this.
2. When i said i didn't want you in my life, i never knew i'd feel so shitty afterwards.
3. I can't stand living without you here by me, i miss your bad puns, the freakiness, emo days, the way you annoy me. I've been thinking about you all the time.
4. I just want you to know, that i'm sorry.

come back, I need you.

oh yes, and maybe, while i'm at it, i'll just add in(about a completely different person), well, um yeah maybe you'd know who you are, when i said that politeness thing, (i did mean it, but well) i miss not having you in my class. sitting like one seat away from me (ok, could i make this any more d-uh) and yes, now i realise that your presence made a big difference in my life (:

OH YES. and I love sam, for being there for me, <3 girlfriend. and karen and you all, for being there for me.

A Beautiful Disaster at Tuesday, January 16, 2007

Monday, January 08, 2007

I OFFICIALLY THINK MY BIRTHDAY RULED. (:
and i'd like to thank everyone for making it happy. I love you, really.

A Beautiful Disaster at Monday, January 08, 2007

Wednesday, January 03, 2007

A Beautiful Disaster at Wednesday, January 03, 2007

Its been the first day of school. and it must have been the worst day of my life. not that you need to know or anything. [insert the 'i hate my life' and all the such here(you do not need to know how i feel about it)]

Yes, i've been to dubai. the U.A.E is beautiful and the people are gorgeous. i loved it. well, here are the pictures.